Acceptance

I'm a rule follower, it's what I do. Following the rules is what I've always done. My parents (as far as I know) have always been pretty proud of my decision making. When you're young you make decisions solely for that purpose; you want your parents to be proud of you. You seek their approvals and affirmations. If you were raised in a Christian home, like I was, you also begin to obey God's "rules" for your parent's approval. My parents are wonderful, loving, Godly people and I am so thankful to have grown up in a family where Jesus was the center. When I came to that adulthood transition it took a few years to re-learn the Gospel of Jesus and claim it truly as my own.

Lately, I've been struggling with grace and what it means to love like Jesus loves. I've been praying that God would give me insight into my own heart and His. An open window into His love for me and how that should reflect in my love for others.

God didn't create guidelines and boundaries as His perimeter for acceptance and approval. He created them as a way to align our hearts with His and find peace in a fallen world. He wants them for my own good not so he can love me more and approve of me. He already does. He already accepted me at salvation, His seal of approval was dry that day. He's not a shake the finger God; the mistakes aren't met with punishments just natural consequences and the nudging of His spirit to live for more. This needs to be applied to my own life and the lives of those around me. Learning to accept God's approval and extend that grace towards others is no small task.

We've become so obsessed with approval and affirmation, dying for someone to acknowledge what we've done and validate who we are. We see love as something to be earned, something we have to continually prove ourselves worthy of. We find ourselves in a constant crisis to keep ourselves interesting, keeping a mental tally of why others should like us. We're convinced that we must do the same with God. Keep Him happy with us so He doesn't take the love and blessings away. Exhausted?

Psalm 139:
vs.2
You know when I sit and when I rise.
vs. 8
If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths you are there.

If we had not been made worthy by His blood would the Creator of the Universe be aware of our daily movements? Would He follow us to the depths of our own despair, to the bottomless pit of our humanness? Would He be jealous for our love? Would He endure the heartbreak of watching His Son sacrifice Himself for a people who spit in His face? Surely, you are special. Your heart beats in a one-of-a kind rhythm known only by Him. The day I said "Yes" to God is the day I was made enough. I'm enough. Not what I've accomplished or how many experiences I've had to round out my person.....just me. Grace means loving others through their heartache even if it's self-inflicted and resting peacefully in just plain old me and liking it!